HONEYMOON

When we hear about honeymoons we all get a smile on our face and we think about love, warmth, beautiful beaches.  Complete happiness.

The word “Honeymoon” is also used in a different context.  It can be used as a time-frame before things gets REAL.

When I lived in British Columbia, Canada my ex and I were fostering difficult teens.

Ours were called a “transition home”, where the children were waiting to either get back with their parents or waiting to be placed in a foster home.

Our Social worker taught us about “the honeymoon period” which we had no clue what was.

Well, when any of us have company coming to stay overnight in our home – family or friends -  we all treat them “extra” nice of course because they are s “guests” in our homes.

We usually go and purchase a little “nicer foods”, make “nicer” breakfasts or dinners or other little things to make our company feel welcome.

Well, our Social worker taught us that the “honeymoon period” when it comes to having foster children coming in to our home – usually would last 3-4 weeks, where we automatically would  treat them - as guests - with that extra courtesy, wanting the children to feel loved and welcome.

But, after 3-4 weeks’ reality of daily life of ANY FAMILY would set in, and we would have to change ‘OUR WAYS” and start to treat “our foster guests” as THE REST OF THE FAMILY.

No more extra courtesies or niceties, but being just plain A FAMILY, who have problems and issues and that we “WOULD FACE THOSE PROBLEMS AND ISSUES”, like a family – together with our foster children – so they would know that they now were a part of “Family”.

In my 80 years, I have NEVER seen ANY family without some issues that had to be solved.

That does not mean the family members don’t’ love each other.

FAMILIES who love each other have the desire to “solve their problems in courtesy and kindness”.

But that means “they are no longer just friends”.  The “honeymoon period is over”.

THEY ARE NOW FAMILY

Vibeke Lindhardt

26 June 2017