HONEYMOON

When we hear about honeymoons we all get a smile on our face and we think about love, warmth, beautiful beaches.  Complete happiness.

The word “Honeymoon” is also used in a different context.  It can be used as a time-frame before things gets REAL.

When I lived in British Columbia, Canada my ex and I were fostering difficult teens.

Ours were called a “transition home”, where the children were waiting to either get back with their parents or waiting to be placed in a foster home.

Our Social worker taught us about “the honeymoon period” which we had no clue what was.

Well, when any of us have company coming to stay overnight in our home – family or friends -  we all treat them “extra” nice of course because they are s “guests” in our homes.

We usually go and purchase a little “nicer foods”, make “nicer” breakfasts or dinners or other little things to make our company feel welcome.

Well, our Social worker taught us that the “honeymoon period” when it comes to having foster children coming in to our home – usually would last 3-4 weeks, where we automatically would  treat them - as guests - with that extra courtesy, wanting the children to feel loved and welcome.

But, after 3-4 weeks’ reality of daily life of ANY FAMILY would set in, and we would have to change ‘OUR WAYS” and start to treat “our foster guests” as THE REST OF THE FAMILY.

No more extra courtesies or niceties, but being just plain A FAMILY, who have problems and issues and that we “WOULD FACE THOSE PROBLEMS AND ISSUES”, like a family – together with our foster children – so they would know that they now were a part of “Family”.

In my 80 years, I have NEVER seen ANY family without some issues that had to be solved.

That does not mean the family members don’t’ love each other.

FAMILIES who love each other have the desire to “solve their problems in courtesy and kindness”.

But that means “they are no longer just friends”.  The “honeymoon period is over”.

THEY ARE NOW FAMILY

Vibeke Lindhardt

26 June 2017

SKAL VI VÆRE DUS?

When I lived in Denmark – I immigrated 1966 – you either said DE or DU to people.

To translate DE OR DU to English, both words would mean YOU, so it might be confusing – and to some even irritating,  to learn the difference in meaning of the Danish DE AND DU.

DE is when you spoke to a person you have some distance from, either because you were not a close friend or family member, or somebody to whom you showed respect or the person had a different “Social Standing” 

f.ex. Student - teacher. Relationship.  We would address all our classmates with DU, but we would address all the teachers with a DE.

You would say DU to any of your family members or close friends, but if you were working you would address your boss or your co-workers with DE. DEM OR DERES.

CLOSE FRIENDS WERE ALWAYS DUS

Here I am - 1968 in Medicine Hat, Manitoba

 with my baby Harly and my daughter Linda (with the Canadian flag)

 and my friends:

from left: John Hvidkjœr, Gregers Hvidkjœr, Ceta Hvidkjœr.

 The girl in the front in the middle is Nina Hvidkjœr.

WE WERE ALL DUS

If you got to know somebody well, you would ask the person:  Skal vi vœre DUS?=  “Can we be DUS?, meaning can we start to say DU to each other instead of DE?

Sometimes people would go to a Restaurant or Café where they could Drikke DUS = They would order a drink, clink the glass and “drink to” that they now were DUS.

When you became DUS with somebody, you would be on a more intimate personal level.

I understand that things started to change in the early 70^th and that everybody in Denmark now say DU to each other, except maybe when they address Royalty.

Vibeke Lindhardt

25 June 2017

vibekesonja.blogspot.com

IF YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR DANISH GENEALOGY, I CAN HELP YOU REMOTELY.

Visdom37@gmail.com

RAADHUSPLADSEN, Copenhagen, Denmark

One of the places that is in my memories of my teenage life is RAADHUSPLADSEN in Copenhagen.

I can get quite emotional when I think about “the old times on Raadhuspladsen”. I walked there often.

My parents Lars Vilhelm Henry Madsen and Else were married in the RAADHUSET Government building.  So were my sister Inge Lise and her husband Frantz Valant.

Me walking on Vesterbro

I regularly walked from Enghave Plads down Istedgade to the Copenhagen main railway station – and then on to Vesterbrogade and then to Raadhuspladsen, that I had to cross to get to Strøget.

RAADHUSPLADSEN was at that time – for me – an interesting place.

Beside seeing the beautiful statue of Hans Christian Andersen (sitting on the right side of RAADHUSET).

I always wanted to be sure that I had bread to feed the pigeons and a little money for a RØD RISTET PØLSE (a red hotdog with roasted onion).

This photo is from Højbro Plads

I could sometimes sit on one of the benches and watch the birds and people for hours.

Vibeke Lindhardt

21 June 2017

GAARD  What does that mean?

In Danish that means directly translated FARM – right?

Every genealogist knows that a person who has a FARM is a FARMER and a GAARDMAND is a person working on a farm.

Well, stop a minute

If the word GAARD is always directly translated to FARM it can be totally misleading in some cases, since in Danish GAARD also can mean:

THE SPACE INSIDE A BUILDING

For example:

·         The OPEN space inside a Castle is called GAARD.

·         Also the open space inside a Farm Building is called GAARDEN

·         or the BOTTON INSIDE of an apartment building is called GAARDEN.

There can in some cases be apartments behind the front apartment. In that case the mailman would have to look for the apartment OVER GAARDEN = across the gaard.

When I lived Kongshøjgade 2, Vesterbro on the 4^th floor sometimes there were

GAARDSANGERE = directly translated would mean STREET SINGERS

but that would not be correct, since they were not singing in the street, but had to go inside the building through a narrow dark space in the basement of the building to get to GAARDEN.

Nevertheless, we also did have street singers, but they were singing “in the streets”.

I hope I have happily confused you on a bright summer Monday morning.

Vibeke Lindhardt

19 June 2017

vibekesonja.blogspot.com

BEING A BUM ON THE ROAD

Just before I retired 23 years ago, I had this dream about being a BUM ON THE ROAD.

I lived in Calgary, Alberta at that time working having worked as an “office temp for 5 years” – of which I had spent most of those 5 years working for City of Calgary.

What I wanted was to take the Canadian Greyhound Bus across Canada with a just pack-sack on my back.

Well, unfortunately that never did happen.

So in the beginning of April this year one day when I was in St.George, I had this prompting instead of being A BUM ON THE ROAD in a Greyhound Bus, I COULD do it in a car.

Voila.

I went back home and told Bent that I wanted to be A BUM ON THE ROAD and drive to Canada to visit my family instead of my regular “Airplane Trips”.

Well, that is one the best things I have done.

I left Saturday 29 April 4:30 a.m. and drove straight to Lethbridge Alberta, arriving in Lethbridge Sunday morning at 12:30 a.m.  = 20.5 hours with no stops except to gas up and eat. When I drove back 21 May, I cut it down to 18 hours, since I took the I-15 straight down from the Canadian border to Toquerville, Utah.

I was totally awesome. I would do it again, as long there is NO SNOW.

Vibeke Lindhardt

17 June 2017

PEOPLE WHO RISKED THEIR LIVES TO SAVE OTHERS

Both Bent and I lived through the war and have great appreciation for those who were willing to sacrifice their lives for not only the Jews, but for us.

Many Danes were upset that the Danish King Christian the 10^th let the Germans walk in to Denmark without resistance.

Bent was 6 years old and wanted to be in the resistance movement like his older brother and was pretty upset that “he was too young” for that.  Even though Ludvig never spoke about what he was doing, Bent and his parents knew.

I was 3 years old when the invasion of Denmark started. 9 April 1940. My father was also involved with the resistance movement, but I don’t know the details of it.

We had a neighbor where the son Bjarne Hansen was in the resistance movement and the father was a traitor, involved with the Nazis.  The Father gave his sons name to the Nazis and Bjarne was killed. He was my sister Birgit’s friend and she was pretty upset.

We remember having to darken the windows every night. My Dad would get all our clothes and everything ready every night, in case we had to leave in a second.

In order to be warm we children had to go out on the road to find coal for the stove.

I remember playing with “left-over” hand granite's which was sometimes laying in our yard.

All foods were rationed. We could not get real chocolate and we never saw a banana before the war was over. At Christmas my mother would make “Godter”.  A Danish “non-chocolate” chocolate, non baked cookie.  It was a recipe handed down form my grandmother, who used the same recipe in the 1914-1918 war.

Ludvig Giesmann Lindhardt

Ludvig Lindhardt – a brother of my husband Bent Lindhardt

started illegal activities together with a friend and his father against the German invader in  1942 when he was at the age of 16.

They printed illegal newspapers in the basement of their apartment. His friend and his father got caught and was send to concentration camps in Germany. Ludvig was lucky that he was not home when the Germans came to round them up.

His friend and his father came back when the war ended, but were so destroyed from the concentration camps that they both died shortly after.

He was regularly sent to Sweden with messages inside a key.

When Ludvig was 18 he helped the English when they were dropping weapons in to the resistance movement in Denmark. How many lives he saved we don’t know, but he was constantly living in the fear of being caught. 

He kept his activities secret for his parent all the time.

I believe we become “more of ourselves” when we make sacrifices for others.

Danes rescue of Jews  7.800

The rescue of the Danish Jews occurred during Nazi Germany's occupation of Denmark during World War II. On October 1, 1943 Nazi leader Adolf Hitler ordered Danish Jews to be arrested and deported. Despite great personal risk, the Danish resistance movement with the assistance of many ordinary Danish citizens took part in a collective effort to evacuate about 

7,800 Jews of Denmark by sea to nearby neutral Sweden.

The rescue allowed the vast majority of Denmark's Jewish population to avoid capture by the Nazis and is considered to be one of the largest actions of collective resistance to repression in the countries occupied by Nazi Germany. As a result of the rescue and Danish intercession on behalf of the 5% of Danish Jews who were deported to Theresienstadt transit camp in Bohemia, over 99% of Denmark's Jewish population survived the Holocaust.

See movie “The Only Way” with Jane Seymour

Oskar Schindler (28 April 1908 – 9 October 1974) was an ethnic German industrialist, German spy, and member of the Nazi party who is credited with saving the lives of 1,200 Jews during the Holocaust by employing them in his enamelware and ammunitions factories, which were located in what is now Poland and the Czech Republic respectively. He is the subject of the 1982 novel Schindler's Ark, and the subsequent 1993 film Schindler's List, which reflected his life as an opportunist initially motivated by profit who came to show extraordinary initiative, tenacity, and dedication in order to save the lives of his Jewish employees.

Irena Sendler (née Krzyżanowska, also referred to as Irena Sendlerowa in Poland, Nom de guerre Jolanta; 15 February 1910 – 12 May 2008)^[2] was a PolishRoman Catholic nurse/social worker who served in the Polish Underground during World War II, and as head of children's section of Żegota,^[3][4] an underground resistance organization in German-occupied Warsaw. Assisted by some two dozen other Żegota members, Sendler smuggled some 2,500 Jewish children out of the Warsaw Ghetto and then provided them with false identity documents and with housing outside the Ghetto, saving those children during the Holocaust.^[5]

The Nazis eventually discovered her activities, tortured her, and sentenced her to death, but she managed to evade execution and survive the war. In 1965, Sendler was recognized by the State of Israel as Righteous among the Nations. Late in life she was awarded Poland's highest honor for her wartime humanitarian efforts. She appears on a silver 2009 Polish commemorative coin honoring some of the Polish Righteous among the Nations.

The Bielski Brothers is a non-fiction book by Peter Duffy, which was published in 2003. It tells the story of Tuvia, Zus, and Asael Bielski, three Jewish brothers who established a large partisan camp in the forests of Belarus during World War II, and so saved 1,200 Jews from the Nazis. The book describes how, in 1941, three brothers witnessed their parents and two other siblings being led away to their eventual murders. The brothers fought back against Germans and collaborators, waging guerilla warfare in the forests of Belarus. By using their intimate knowledge of the dense forests surrounding the towns of Lida and Novogrudek, the Bielskis evaded the Nazis and established a hidden base camp, then set about convincing other Jews to join their ranks. The Germans came upon them once but were unable to get rid of them. As more Jews arrived each day, a robust community began to emerge; a "Jerusalem in the woods". In July 1944, after some 30 months in the woods, the Bielskis learned that the Germans, overrun by the Red Army, were retreating back toward Berlin.^[1]

At the end of the war, with Soviet control of Belarus becoming increasingly oppressive, the surviving Bielskis fled to Romania, traveling on to the British Mandate of Palestine and eventually to the United States. Asael was drafted into the Soviet Red Army and was killed in action at Marlbork in 1944.

A previous untold story about Jan Żabiński and his wife Antonina who used their Zoo to hide Jews. NOW IN A BOOK The Zookeepers Wife”

In 2007, the U.S. writer Diane Ackerman published The Zookeeper's Wife, a book about the Żabiński family's wartime activities that draws upon Antonina Żabińska's diary. The Polish film director Maciej Dejczer has announced plans for a film about Żabiński's wartime activities.

Jan Zabinski (8 April 1897, Warsaw - 26 July 1974, Warsaw) was a Polish zoologist and zootechnician, recognized by the State of Israel to be one of the Righteous Among the Nations.^[1] He was director of the Warsaw Zoo before the outbreak of World War II and additionally superintendent of the city's public parks during theNazi occupation. He and his wife Antonina and their son Ryszard used their personal villa and the zoo itself to shelter hundreds of displaced Jews. Additionally he fought during the Warsaw Uprising, was subsequently injured and became a prisoner of war. Żabiński also authored approximately 60 popular science books.
 “the Zookeepers Wife” ( now also available as a movie)

---

Vibeke Lindhardt

15 May 2017

My cousin Gudrun’s comments on my two articles on HYGGE

My cousin Gudrun’s comments on my two articles on HYGGE

Kære Vibeke.

Det  er et interessant emne du skriver om, og hvem kunne  vel være bedre til det end du, som har boet i 3 forskellige lande.?

Jeg vil gerne komme med nogle kommentarer, så du hører det fra en ”gammel-dansker”.

Jeg fik aldrig at vide hjemmefra,  hvordan  jeg skulle opføre mig, når jeg spiste hos andre.

Det var først da jeg kom på husholdningsskole,  at  jeg lærte noget om bordskik, borddækning, servering   o.s.v

Jeg husker en episode fra 2.klasse, hvor jeg var til fødselsdag hos en pige. Der blev serveret is, og da jeg gerne ville have for 3. gang, sagde pigens mor ”du kan da vist godt lide is”. Jeg husker tydeligt at jeg blev flov,  fordi jeg troede at der lå en bebrejdelse i det.

Jeg tror ikke, at mine forældre tænkte i de baner, men i øvrigt  var det jo ikke så tit, at  vi  var  ude sammen med  de voksne. Vi blev passet af vores Mormor eller Farmor.

Da jeg selv fik børn, ville jeg helst heller ikke have  dem med  ud om aftenen, for jeg havde haft dem fra kl. 6 om morgenen, og trængte til at blive ”børnefri” om aftenen.

Vi havde nogle bekendte, som altid tog deres små børn med ud, og jeg husker, hvordan den ene tissede på en stol og den anden lavede på gulvtæppet, og at der i øvrigt slet ikke var plads til den voksensnak, som jeg havde hårdt brug for.

Nu tager alle unge  deres børn med ud om aftenen, med mindre de udtrykkeligt er blevet bedt om at få dem passet. Jeg tror, at det er fordi de voksne er væk  fra  deres børn hele dagen, og så synes,   at de skal være sammen med dem om aftenen.

Det er  selvfølgelig noget helt andet med vores børnebørn, for dem er vi jo virkelig interesseret i, men når  de er med, så skal de jo tidligt hjem og i seng, og det virker også forstyrrende.

Er det almindeligt i USA,  at voksne rejser sig fra bordet, når de er færdige med t spise?

Det gør vi ikke her, men børnene kan jo ikke sidde time efter time  ved bordet og hygge sig, så de spørger pænt, om de må rejse sig, og det får de så lov til.

Steen og Rikkes børn bliver opdraget til at vente md at spise, indtil alle har fået, og når vi kommer på  besøg, kommer børnene pænt ind til os og snakker, mens vi venter på maden.

Om gæster, der  vil hjælpe.

Normalt går gæsterne jo ikke i køkkenet,( her I Danmark) men her hos os gør de -  efter  at vi har spist – fordi de ved,  at jeg har svært ved at klare det.

Jeg ordner al maden og dækker bordet, inden de kommer, og når vi har spist, hjælper  de med at bære ude af bordet.

En af veninderne synes at et rent køkken er  vigtigere end gæsterne, så når hun er den der skal  sørge for frokosten, ser vi ikke meget til hende,  fordi hun skal have vasket op og tørret borde og alt af, inden vi går.

Køkkenet er som blæst, når gæsterne er gået. Det finder jeg faktisk meget uhøfligt mod gæsterne. Vi andre nøjes med at bære ud af bordet, og så ordne opvasken, når gæsterne er gået.

Angående HYGGE ved bordet

så har du fuldstændig ret i, at der ikke er noget så dejligt som at sidde længe ved et bord og snakke med hinanden – gerne i timevis, men det kan man jo kun, hvis man er virkelige venner og ikke bare bekendte.

Og jeg  har da aldrig været gæst et sted, hvor der ikke var siddeplads til alle

Er  det virkelig sådan i USA – at man inviterer flere end man har plads til?

Festsange

Ja, det bruger man desværre ikke så meget mere hos de unge. Jeg  har selv skrevet nogle, men når  de unge holder fester,  er det ikke sange, men forskellige former for optræden,  man bruger for at more selskabet.

Enten gør man det selv, eller også inviterer man en professionel til at optræde.

Vi har engang været til en fest, hvor selveste Kim Larsen ankom og sang for os. – Troede vi.  Det  var jo bare ikke  den ægte Kim Larsen, men en skuespiller, der var en tro kopi af ham.

Venskab og Bekendte

De unge – I Danmark - knytter meget hurtigere venskab med andre, end vi gjorde.

F.eks. med børnenes klassekammeraters forældre – med kvinder fra fødselsgrupperne eller forældre fra børnenes sport.

Det mener jeg nu må være ”bekendte” , for venskab kræver lang tid.

Vennerne er  dem man  kan  dele problemerne med, og som vi selv lytter til.

Så måske bliver det som hos jer – mange bekendtskaber og få virkelige venner.

De allerbedste venner er jo dem, som man har kendt fra sin barndom eller ungdom.  Dem falder man altid i hak med, selv om man måske ikke har set dem i lang tid.

Det var sjovt at høre om forskellene.

Der  er  sket mange ændringer med årene.

Nu må du HYGGE dig!

Kærlig hilsen

Gurdun

Translation of My cousin Gudrun's comments on my two articles on HYGGE

Dear Vibeke.

 It's an interesting topic you write about and who might be better than you who have lived in 3 different countries.?

I would like to make some comments, so you hear an old Dane’s perspective (who is living in Denmark)

 I was never taught how to behave when we had to go for dinner at other people’s place.

It was first when I went to a “housekeeping school that I learned something about table manners, table setting, how to serve etc.  dish, table cover, serving, etc.

I remember one time when I was in 2nd grade I went to a birth party a girlfriend’s place.  They were serving ice cream.  When I wanted my 3^rd serving, the girl's mother said, "You must like ice cream." I clearly remember that I was so embarrassed because I thought she was correcting me.

I do not think my parents thought about things like that, but it was not very often we were out with the adults. We were babysat by our grandmother or grandmother.

When I got children, I would rather not have them with us out in the evening, because I had them all day from 6:00 a.m. in the morning, and needed to be "child-free" in the evening.

We had some acquaintances who always took their little children with them out and I remembered how one peed on a chair and another was pooing on a carpet.  I felt there was no peace and time adult talk that needed.

Now all young people bring their children with them in the evening unless they have explicitly asked to have them taken care of.

I think it's because adults are away from their children all day, so think they have to be with them in the evening s too.

Of course, it is quite different with our grandchildren, because those are really interested in seeing, but when they are here, they have to go home early and in bed, and that is also frustrating.

 Is it common in the United States that adults get up from the table when they finish eating?

We do not do this, but children cannot sit hour after hour at the table and enjoy themselves so they ask nicely if they have to get up and they are allowed to do so.

Sten and Rikke’s children have to wait to get served until everyone has eaten and when we come to visit, the children come and talk with us while we wait for the food.

About guests who will help

Normally, the guests do not go in the kitchen, (here in Denmark) but at our place do - after we have eaten - because they know I'm having trouble managing.

I usually arrange all the food and cover the table before they arrive and when we have eaten, they help clear the table.

One of my friends feels that a clean kitchen is more important than the guests, so when she is the one that are host of the lunch, we don’t see her much because she has to get all dished cleaned and dried before we leave.  The kitchen is like blown when the  guests are gone. In fact.

I find that very rude to the guests. The rest of us prefers clearing the table and then clean the dishes after the guests have gone.

Regarding the HYGGE at the table

You are absolutely right that there is nothing as nice as sitting at a long table and talking to each other - for hours, but you can ONLY DO THAT IF YOU ARE FRIENDS, not just acutance’s.

I have never been a guest somewhere where there was no seating for everyone

Is it really the case in the United States - that you invite more than you have room for?

Party SONGS

Yes, unfortunately, the young people do not use that anymore. I have written some, but when the young people are partying today, there are no songs, but different kinds of performances.

Either you do it yourself or you invite a professional to perform.

Once we went to a party where the actor Kim Larsen arrived and sang for us. - We thought it was the real Kim Larsen that was coming, but It was not the real Kim Larsen, but an actor, that was a true copy of him.

Friends or acquaints

The young people – in Denmark – make friends much faster friendship than we did.

F.ex   the children's classmates' parents - with women from the birth groups or parents from the children's sports.

I think this must be acquaints they are having, because making really friendships take time.

The real friends are the ones to share the problems with, and who we ourselves listen to.

So maybe it will become like at your place (In Canada and USA that they will have many acquaintances and few real friends.

The very best friends are those one have known from childhood or youth. You can always connect even though you might not have seen them for a long time.

It was fun to hear about the differences.

There have been many changes over the years.

I hope you will have some Hygge.

 Love Gudrun

MY ANSWER TO GUDRUN’S QUESTIONS

Is it common in the United States that adults get up from the table when they finish eating?

In private home

First of all, I do not remember very many place where I have to dinner in neither Canada, nor USA, where there was a table set in the first place.

In most cases, all the food is placed on a counter, and everybody take what they want and “sit where they want”.

Everybody sit “where they can find a place to sit”.

A chair, or couch, or the floor even.

In the very few cases I have been to In a private setting, yes some adults have left the table, but is is mostly children who leave the table.

At larger gathering

like I have been to lots and lots of church parties where tables and chairs have been set up and in both Canada and USA they spend a lot of time and money on “decorating” the hall.

In all cases the food has been on other long tables and people will get up t get the food.

Yes, in all cases I have seen people leave when they were finished eating or after the entertainment.

2^ND QUESTION

I have never been a guest somewhere where there was no seating for everyone

Is it really the case in the United States - that you invite more than you have room for?

 Well, since people in most cases set tables etc.  they don’t really think about “how many will be there” and many times people are standing or sitting on the floor, so

YES, IN ACCORDING TO DANISH ENTERTAINMENT STANDARDS, IT IS QUITE COMMON FOR PEOPLE in Canada and USA  TO INVITE LOTS OF PEOPLE AND THINK ABOUT THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE COMING.

Vibeke