Is our love for others CONDITIONAL?

Is our love for those around us so full of conditions that we deprive ourselves of loving others fully?

The word LOVE is so important to us as a human race.

I believe the “human race” speak about LOVE more than any other subject in this world.

·         no matter what background we have, color, creed or race.

·         No matter our status in life, we speak about love.

We speak about parent’s love, children’s love.

We talk about love for  siblings, cousins, grandparents, great grandparents.

We talk about love for our friends.

We speak about “Our first love” and love for spouses and our children.

We even speak of love of animals, of love of nature, love for art, music, hobbies.

We speak about love for travel etc. etc.

But are we placing CONDITIONS ON OUR LOVE?

Is our love for spouses, family, friends etc. CONDITIONAL?

Do we only love “if others behave the way we want them to?

Is our love depending on LOOKS?

Can we only love “if people look certain way, act a certain way”?

Can we only love “if others think and believe what we do?” or do we take away our love for friends, family, spouses when they don’t believe in things we do or do we take away our love when they disappoint us?

Can we see the good and show interest in others no matter who they are or how they live, or do we want them to “come around to our way” before we can show love and caring?

Do we turn away our affection and love from those we “profess to love” as a punishment for “not behaving the way we want them to” or do we only love people if they behave the way we think they should?

Is our love for people around so full of conditions that we deprive ourselves of caring for and loving others fully, no matter their looks, their interests, their belief system, their color or creed?

Forgiveness

I am a firm believer in “forgiving others for their mistakes”.

Does that mean I accept mental and emotional abuse from others?

Of course, not and I do realize that we all “need time” for healing wounds, especially mental and emotional abuse.

Does that mean I don’t get hurt and care less or feel less than others? Of course, not.

I have in my 80 years been deeply hurt by others behavior.

I have felt the pain of physical, mental and emotional abuse.

I have been defrauded.

I have felt the pain and anguish of being lied about, taken advantage of and had my name soiled.

I have been mistreated, misunderstood and unfairly treated - and each hurt has taken time to heal, but I have come to believe that through forgiveness, I can feel love them – “in spite of.”

Forgiveness is “my healer”.

I decided – several years ago – that I would refuse to let other people’s bad and sometimes abusive and controlling behavior destroy me and my life; and my – what some people see as naivety -  belief in the goodness of others,  My life and does not depend on others bad and sometimes downright mean spirited behavior

I don’t believe in keeping grudges. I feel life is too short to waste my time to feel anger forever.  

I am extremely grateful for the peace of mind I have found from the principle of “forgiveness”.

I have learned that I can love people for “whom they are” – humans who makes mistakes which can be extremely hurtful at times.

People, who sometimes people – without knowing all facts - make wrong conclusions.

And

sometimes people use harsh and unkind words that can be very hurtful, but

I have had many “healing” experiences from forgiving others who have hurt me deeply

and I have learned that I can love a person fully and freely without conditions – through forgiveness.

  

Vibeke Lindhardt

20 April 2017

I wrote this song 2012.

FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is forgetting.

Remember it no more

The hurt that you were feeling

The hate you often bore.

Don’t waste your time regretting

And holding on to hate.

Let go of all the pain you feel.

Before it is too late.

The person that has hurt you

That stopped you being free.

The unfair action caused you.

They cannot really see.

Don’t waste your time regretting

And holding on to hate.

Let go of all the pain you feel.

Before it is too late.

Forgiveness is important.

It starts right in your heart.

Forgiveness is for you-u

And not the other part.

Don’t waste your time regretting

And holding on to hate.

Let go of all the pain you feel.

Before it is too late.

Let go of all the hurting

And pain that brought you down.

Leave judgment to the Saviour

who wears the real crown.

Don’t waste your time regretting

And holding on to hate.

Let go of all the pain you feel.

Before it is too late.

It was recorded with Nina Hart