How old should children be when they FLY THE COOP?

My triplet Bisgaard grandchildren in Canada turned 18 yesterday March 15 and are now considered mature and ready to fly the coop.

It has made me think about how countries have different ages for when children are considered mature adults.

In Denmark, where I was born and raised, we were told at the age of 14 when we were confirmed in the Lutheran church that “now we were adults” and we better behave like that. Personally, I did not want to get confirmed, but the rule for me still was that “Now you are an adult etc.”.

In Canada and the United States – both countries I have lived in – children are not considered adults before they are 18.  As a matter of fact, within Canada the age in British Columbia is 19.

In those two countries, they say “that their brains are not fully developed before they are 18”.

Nevertheless, there are many underdeveloped countries where children are forced to be responsible at a much younger age. Many young children fend for themselves before they are 12.

I know of a personal example of that.  I have a friend who lived in Morelia, Mexico. Her Father-in-law was only 11 years old when his mother passed away and the boy’s father left his six children with the oldest boy on the streets begging with the responsibility to take care of the other siblings.

That boy begging ended up one of riches man in Morelia and I met him in his very fancy home in Morelia.

In 1954 when I was in Rome and Napoli, Italy I was told to “hang on to your purse” because little 6-12 year children would grab your purse and RUN and you had no chance to run after them. I am sure they were the breadwinners in the family.

Many Romanian gypsies send their children to England to beg on the streets to send money back to them In Romania.

I personally believe that In Denmark, the school system is created in such a way that NOBODY is called “drop-outs” like they are in Canada and US, and that children in Denmark seem mature at an earlier age because:  “that is what society expect of them.”

I never heard the word DROP-OUT label of youth before I immigrated to Canada 1966 I did not like it and felt it was an awful painful and unfair STAMP to place on the teens  I still feel the same today.

Teens who drop out – and it is still so now in 2017 – are considered somewhat “failures” and don’t have much to look forward to, on the job market other than low paying labor jobs or jobs in the food industry.

F. ex here in Hurricane, Utah (three miles from where I live) a waitress job at JB’s Restaurant pay you $2.00 an hour, plus tips, because Utah has what they call a “Right-To-Work-Law” which means an employer don’t have to pay the US minimum wage of $7.00, but can offer what he wants to.

When I went to school in Denmark 1944-1953 we were divided -  after finishing grade 5 - in to two systems: “the practical line” or” the academic line.” We were tested in grade five to see where our abilities were lying so we could fit in to either the one line or the other line. Personally, I was fitting in to the academic line and was 15 years old when school was finished for me in 1953.

Nine years of school was what was expected, unless you continued in University. (they have now added another year to the middle school in Denmark). I would have liked to go to University and wanted to be a teacher in foreign languages, but my mother could not afford for me “not to work”.

In the middle school, I had four years of English, three years of German, one year Swedish and one year Latin. Learning other languages was part of what was required of us in the academic line and learning other languages is still very much expected of the Danes. They are now starting children with English in grade three in Denmark and some young people who are planning on going “the business line” learn Chinese because China is becoming one of the world’s largest trading partners.

There are no expectations in the United States for youth to learn a second language. In Canada, many are learning French since the Province of Quebec is French, so Canada has adopted a two-language system.

I started my three-years – 40 hour a week -  apprenticeship in Bookkeeping and Business - with English as a second language - for “Adams Transport Company” an International moving company – which still exist as far as I know. I worked - 20 hours a week and the other 20 hours were in school, training at the College – ‘Handels Skolen” on Nørrebro, in Copenhagen, Denmark”

When I worked as an apprentice I was paid 250 kroner. = $50 a month. Well, that was a lot of money for me and my Mom got most of it to help with food.

I was 17 years old when I rented my own room and I was 18 when I was finished my training and ready for a “MATURE” Bookkeeping job.

I first worked for “Palle Hvid’s Paper” company for one year and was 18 when I started a bookkeeping job for the Danish government in the  “Department of Finance”. Working in “Børsen”, a well know building in Copenhagen.

So just like in 1953 - still now in 2017, it looks like the expectations of the youth  depends on what country you live in.  The amount of years in school we had – which was well respected at that time – was sufficient, but that is not how it is today 2017.

Not even grade 12 in Canada and United States is considered not enough for many good paying jobs. The Minimum years for many jobs today and in the future, will be at least another three years of College or University. A total of 15 years.

It is a changing world for children and youth with much greater expectation, so at what age are children mature to fly the coop for them to “make it in this new world of technology”?

Vibeke Lindhardt

16 March 2017