FORGIVING

Forgiving people seems to be one of the hardest things for a lot of people.

We all get hurt in our lives no matter what. Yesterday one of our leaders – Pres.Jeffrey R Holland was telling us a hard-wrenching story at the semi-annual General Conference about a man that was told by his Bishop that he was lying.

The man got so hurt that he did not go to church for 15 years. It was not before when his - then grown up son came to him and said: “Dad, we need you to come back and be leader of the family” that he came back.

To not forgive “what was in the past”, no matter if it was 20 years ago or four years ago, causes a lot of pain in relationships for both parties.

As a matter of fact, in my opinion it is hypocritical to go to church and profess to be a good Christian and not be able to forgive others.  

Then there are some people who say: Well, I can forgive, but that does not mean I have to forget”.

Yes, you do.

Forgiving, without forgetting is “not to truly forgive”. You might still be able to “remember” the incident, but when something is forgiven the remembrance of "what happened"  is “without pain” and not something you keep bringing up - not only in your mind - but to the perpetrator.

When you have truly forgiven then it just becomes "a fact that happened in your life." It is not something you keep tell the person that hurt you "that he or she has to remember "what they did to you" and "they should not try to "make themselves look good" and "that they should really look in to themselves for what they did to you".

How do you you have any knowledge about if they looked at themselves and  repented already long time ago and has moved on while you keep destroying your own and other peoples life with "your lack of forgiveness"?

It is even worse if that person already came to you and apologized either in words or writing and you "still cannot let go of the past".  It might even look like "you are taking comfort in "your grudges".

 A person that has truly forgiven somebody will not only try to make up for the hurt he or she has caused the person by keeping a grudge towards them “sometimes” for years, but they will apologize and have a contrite heart towards the person they have kept a grudge towards, because in the end, it is the person who can't forgive, that becomes the perpetrator by causing the pain, not only for themselves, the person that hurt them, but other people who have to listen to their complaints, sometimes for years.

We all are given some gift in life and I am truly grateful that one of my gifts is “to be able to forgive and not keep a grudge” towards people who have hurt me in my life.

As a matter of fact, in my blog I have often brought up the subject because for me it is such an important thing in life.

Forgiveness has given me peace of mind and love and charity towards people who have hurt me in life over the years.  Some of them still not only carry a grudge towards me, but has passed on “their grudges’ to others to destroy my name and reputation.

Fortunately, it is not affecting me, because I have forgiven them "for keeping a grudge" towards me and I can even feel love for the person, in spite of their hate towards me.

In 2012 I compose a song about it. We had it recorded. My husband Bent’s daughter Nina is the vocalist.

Vibeke Lindhardt

8 October 2018

vibekesonja.blogspot.com

see my previous blog FORGIVENESS